Allow life to flow like a river to the vastness of the ocean…..

When you really spend some time thinking about the word allowance it can take you in many different directions.  For the last few days I have been doing just that. And I would like to share those thoughts with you.

When we are young the power to allow seems to be in the hands of other people.  What am I allowed to do?  What am I allowed to have?  What am I allowed to say?  What am I allowed to eat and drink?  What kinds of entertainment am I allowed to participate in?

At some point you may have to decide what is allowed for another.  As a parent or guardian you have to decide what is allowed based on your desire to keep someone else safe.  This gets very complex with multiple players and can leave you with a propensity to control things.

In much of the world today where new age teachings are followed, allowance is a practice of adjusting your definition of something.  If you define something through the eyes of love you can allow instead of pushing against.

However, the aspect of allowance that I am currently the most interested in is allowing people to bloom!  Allowing everyone around me to respond to life in whatever way their heart leads them to, without my input, unless asked.  This comes with lots of, watching people figure things out that I may already know.  But figuring things out, learning how it works and how you like it, that’s called life.  I am not here to compare myself to others or to be like anyone else.  I am here to create my own life the way that it suits me and to share with others the joy of what I have created.

As a mom I have a strong tendency to fix things and guide situations in ways that I think are best for everyone.  What goes along with this for me is a tendency to let my well-intended words or actions on the behalf of another distract me from my own creation.  I’m thinking about someone else’s situation and not living mine.  I’m aggravated that my good advice was not taken.  Or I’m resentful that the process chosen by someone is long and drawn out instead of short and sweet as mine would have been.  What I was missing was this:  The people I am trying to help, direct or wake up, are not asking for my help, do not want my direction and are not ready to wake up.  The longer process is what was needed for reasons I can’t see and my good advice just doesn’t fit the program.

So I am making it a point to listen without having to have all of the answers.  I listen without the need to jump into action.  I listen, knowing I have something to learn here.  There is always something to learn.  I listen to show love and interest.  I listen to hear the truth of another heart.

It is amazing and beautiful to watch the people you love rise to the occasion and create life in their own unique way.  My heart is warmed and I am constantly reminded that we are all creators of life!  You may already be watching the magic, but if not, do yourself a favor, take a step back and let them bloom.  I have stopped trying to tell the flowers how to grow.  Now I can truly admire the glory of it all.

Love always!

Sallie

It really is all good!

20180801_125848In the last couple of weeks I have become dedicated to the practice of meditation.  It’s like having a long conversation with someone I love.  I’m not sure how I got along without it!  Yesterday and again today the theme seems to be how great things are already and always.  When I look around and know that what I see is the manifestation of my thoughts and actions, I can only love it.  Is there something that I would clean, straighten, rearrange or get rid of, if I was not sitting down writing now?  Yes, certainly there is, but those things that I would change are not crucial to the turning of the earth.  I am here, creating new combinations of thoughts, feelings and actions, shaping my unique experience.  And it really is all good!

How you choose to define something is how you experience it.  For example:  I walk over to my kitchen sink and break a plate that was a piece of my grandmothers daily china.  I have kept it carefully to remind me of her.  One thing I can feel is really bad that I was so clumsy. Then I walk around doing the rest of my housework while mentally beating myself up for the broken dish.  You know how the rest of that will turn out.  Maybe more broken stuff?  At the very least, it will feel hard and take a longer amount of time than necessary to do the other work.  That’s what happens when I feel bad about myself.  Or, I could try to be happy that I had that memory as long as I did and move past something that still doesn’t feel very good.  Not a bad thing to be able to do and less self blame in that attitude.  But, because I get to define this moment, I choose to see this as a beautiful new opportunity to create.  It could be a mosaic  tile to hang on the wall or rest on a table.  It could be facilitating a process of letting go of the pain of loss.  It could be making room for a new way to experience the memory of her love and care.  Your definition of the situation is everything!  The event by itself is neutral.

Everything around you and everything you do and think tells the story of who you are.  It may not be clear to you.  You may think, that’s not here because of me.  But truly, it is.  Maybe it’s there because you are very tolerant.  Maybe it’s there because of the color or the line.  If you look around and pick an object, you can probably determine what it is about you that allows it to be there or brought it into your experience. Likewise, you may have a certain thought because it matches something you were taught as a child or because of one experience in your life.  Each experience, thought and thing is here to serve you on your path to your heart.  It is all so very good, even when it hurts.  How it feels is a message.  Is it telling you to let go of something or let go of resistance to something.  Each and every thing is a gift that you give to yourself for the expansion of your heart and ultimately the good of the planet!

Open your heart and your eyes to the goodness that surrounds you everyday!  Life is a beautiful creation unfolding every moment.  It’s all good or not, depending on your perspective.  I choose to love it and you!

Thank you for reading!

Sallie Baker

So, I decided to blog

So, I decided to blog.  I always seem to have lots of stuff I want to write about and quite a bit of it I would love to share with any interested readers.  I set up a wordPress account and sat down to write something.  First I went back over all of the things I have written recently.  I found myself being super critical and none of it seemed worthy of a blog.  I then tried taking some of the most recent ideas that I have yet to write down and found that I had nothing to say.  Mute with a microphone!  Ok, this is my day 2 challenge.  How much do I want this?  Am I willing to jump out there and wing it until it flows?  Yes I am!  Here goes nothing and everything….

My intention for today was to have a quiet morning.  Coffee and meditation to start and then I would settle in to write.  My phone woke me up. As I answered I knew my morning would be none of the things I had planned.  The phone call lasted longer than I want to admit and when it ended I was broken and could do nothing but cry for a while.

Here are the things I am learning from this experience.

I’m a good listener.  You can tell me anything.  I will give advice or my opinion if you ask for it, or just listen and love you.  I have always considered this to be a good thing.  But is it?  Where in all of that is love and respect for myself?  Where are my boundaries?  I love knowing that we are all one.  I want the best possible life for all people.  I want to continue to be a space of love for anyone who needs me.  I guess I’m trying to understand what that means to me as I treat myself with love and respect.

Another thing that comes to the surface in all of this is the aspect of being a people pleaser.  This is something I have to keep recognizing and letting go of.  If I’m trying to please everybody, not only is it impossible, but it takes me away from the true path of my heart.  My heart doesn’t seek your approval; my heart seeks a way to shine light and give love to all.  People pleasing is something that is learned very early, and neuroscience shows us that the pathways associated with repeated behaviors begin to function like a piece of software initiated by some experience.  So there has to be a deliberate change in the way I respond to create “new software”.

The last thing I want to talk about right now is definition.  Bottom line, how I define the situation is ultimately what determines my action.  If I define it as bad, I will have a reaction that reflects all of the reasons I think it’s bad.  I will likely remember other similar bad things and make comparisons and forecast outcomes based on all of my experience with this kind of bad situation.  If however, I can find a way to just let it be what it is and make no judgment; I can choose an appropriate action that affords both love and respect for all parties.  Armed with a neutral definition, I can make the decision to lovingly walk away and make a different choice.  I get to decide what is in my life and what is not.  It doesn’t have to be a decision made when I just can’t take anymore, it can be lovingly made before things are out of control.

Thanks for reading!